Let's talk about Love, Simon.
I saw this movie last night and I have to say, I would highly recommend it. To be completely fair, I am a gay man who loves and writes contemporary romance, so this was right up my alley. I read the book and although (like every great book) the book was better, this movie was still amazing.
A lot of parts within this movie really hit close to home. I felt myself reliving moments in my life when I was coming out, or still in the closet and trying to figure myself and my sexuality out.
The start of the movie was like a lot of other contemporary romances I have read. Our Main Character, Simon, meets up with his friends, goes to school, we have multiple school scenes, etc. Although I enjoyed this part, it wasn't anything special.
As we progress through the movie, I found myself cringing at so many different scenes. When Simon left his computer without closing out of Gmail stuck out to me particularly hard because that's almost exactly how someone found out about my secret life. I was also blackmailed, not with helping someone find and love a girlfriend but to do things for this person all while constantly being worried they would out me. (Spoiler: They did anyways). I cringed at all the teenage things one would remember from their time spent as an awkward, self-conscious teenager. The karaoke, the party, the mess that was Martin
The first part I found myself starting to slowly tear up was when Simon goes to find Blue, who he is convinced is a kid from his friend group. He walks into the bedroom to find this kid making out with a girl. I felt for Simon, I wanted him so badly to find this other closeted gay kid. He excuses himself, saying he thought this was the bathroom and returns downstairs. God, I felt hard for him.
Throughout the movie, we see different people Simon thinks could be his secret email pal, Blue. Each time it showed them doing something, I just wanted them to be the one, even if I knew he wouldn't find this person half-way through this ride.
An integral scene in the movie is when Martin (Who btw, I fucking hate) does as Simon says and "goes big or go home" and tells Abby, his love interest that he wants to go out with her. She proceeds to reject him in front of the ENTIRE SCHOOL. This causes everyone at school to talk about it on social media, effectively crushing Martin's soul. This is where the movie got super real for me, even more so then everything else before this.
To redeem himself, Martin who was the one to be blackmailing Simon with his secret emails, posts them all on social media, outing Simon to the entire school. This hit so close to home for me, I was outed by some stupid bitch in my middle school days the same exact way. This throws Simon into the same world I felt. Lost, lonely, afraid, damaged ... the list could really go on. I felt redeemed a little later when Simon tells Martin to "fuck off", because I so wish I had been able to do that.
Outing Simon with the secret emails leads Blue to totally ditch Simon, sending out one last email to tell Simon that he can't do this anymore and goes to delete his email. Simon goes to beg him not to leave, only to find out the email has already been deleted. Holy shit, Simon starts crying and I start crying, a bubbling mess in the theatre seat, trying not to let the entire theatre know I'm crying like a four year old that just fell off their bike for the first time.
This is the bleak area of the film, where everything seems completely hopeless. I know this, and I know it's going to get better because that's how these things work. But I'm still bawling, still trying to calm down from the emotional trauma I just felt. It's not working but I have support with a reassuring hand tug from my fiance.
After some extremely awkward and extremely real scenes with some bullying involved (Which, thank god wasn't very much. Any more and I would have had to leave, that's still a very fresh wound for me). Simon decides to tell the whole school that yes, he is gay. He admits to everything, but when he starts telling them he deserves a great love story as well, I was up in my seat, ready to tell him to go get it!
By the end of the movie, I had felt so many emotions, my eyes were red, I was starting to get a headache from crying and I just wanted Simon to be happy. The movie's climaxed ending sees Simon on a ferris wheel, giving way too many tickets to ride it until Blue shows up. Even though I had read the book, I forgot how this part went. So, I'm sitting here on the end of my seat ready to start yelling, Blue isn't showing up. Simon's ticket's run out, everyone is standing in the crowd ready to give up and then Martin shows up.
I still hate Martin, btw. So he shows up and tells Simon that he is Blue. No, no he's not. Thank god Simon tells him off. martin somehow tries to redeem himself by paying for one last ferris wheel ride. (Spoiler: Fuck you Martin. You don't deserve SHIT!)
FINALLY, right before the ride operator closes the ferris wheel seat for the last time, Blue shows up. Turns out, it's the boy from the house party, Bram. I squeal, and I don't mean like a little squeal of joy, the entire theatre hears me squeal in joy. But I wasn't embarrassed, I was super excited. They take the ride and at the very top, so cliched like, kiss a few times while the crowd below cheers. I don't give a fuck, it was super cliche, but I started crying happy tears, as I'm sure a few people around me were watching me. I'm crying, Simon and Bram are happy and that's the end. (Not technically, but we could have ended it here).
Would I recommend this? Yes. Especially if you're a queer kid who is going through some shit or has gone through some shit. I may be in my late twenties, but this movie still invoked all the feels. All the feels.
So go, watch and revel in the awkward, amazing, super fantastic, real scenes of this movie. You won't regret it.
Have you seen this movie? Let me know your thoughts below!
Well, it's just over the third of the way through March! March madness is going fantastic. I'm a little bit ahead of my daily word count goal at 22K. I plan on having this book be 60K, maybe more. I am going to post the first chapter here so y'all can read it and maybe even give me a little feedback? That would be so lovely!
Tomorrow is March!
I'm starting March Madness: Writing Edition with some friends and I couldn't be more excited. I have solidified what I will be writing. Below is a preview, You can still join, just tweet you want to join with the hashtag #MMWE2018! Join us in this journey!
I failed at NaNo.
This year, last year and the year before.
I am determined to create my novel in 30 days. So I am doing my own NaNo inspired writing marathon. What is it you ask I'll be doing? I'm calling it March Madness: Writing Marathon. For the month of March 2018 I will write 50K words.
I need some support though. Are you wanting to also write or edit a novel? I would love for some people to join me on this journey. Throughout the month, I'll be writing and then blogging (maybe even vlogging) my experience. I would be ecstatic if I had some people come along with me to help me push through.
I also think we could have some fun questions everyday on twitter to get the juices flowing!
If you want to join, just comment on this thread or tag me in twitter with the hashtag #MMWE2018. We can do this together, making the best of the March ahead of us. We can converse every day, weekly or once in a while through the blog posts on here and through twitter. I hope to see some people join me, or at least just support me through the month!
Let's get this started with a more serious post.
I have been battling depression since ... well, as far back as I can remember. It's sadly been a part of my life, my writing sometimes shows the serious side of my life. I started writing poetry when I was thirteen to try and combat the loneliness and broken feelings from the past. It slowly morphed into writing more and more, moving into short stories and full length novels.
I haven't been very well for so long, I've forgotten what started this and what it was like before I felt this way. I can remember a time when I was in elementary school before I was always sad, always searching for a higher meaning. It was before I was broken by the system, by people around me. When I was in the first and second grade, I remember being somewhat happy with a small group of friends. When I moved from the west side of the city to the east end, I lost touch with the friends I had made and tried to make friends at the new school I attended. That wasn't the plan, I guess.
I remember being at St. Volodymyr, that's where it started to fall apart. The kids there were not of the good kind, I truly believe the people there were somewhat evil, thriving off other's misery. I can tell you the first person I truly thought was an evil person, her name was Amanda Peppin. She was a girl in my grade that destroyed my trust in people, crushed any and all dreams I felt. She was a truly angry person who I think took out her frustrations on the world out on other people. She was the person who would be friends with you, learn your secrets and then use them against you. This is what she did to me.
I knew I liked boys early on, it probably started in second grade when I started to think of a friend of mine as more than a friend. When I moved to St. Volodymyr, I started to crush on another boy, his name was Kyle. I told this to Amanda, who kept it a secret for a total of maybe seven months, if even. When I had finally had enough of the catholic school system and how venomous and awful it was, I moved to a public school but the secret I kept followed me. And Amanda Peppin ruined my life.
She printed off every email we had with each other, printed off my life and my secrets and then she distributed that within the two schools. Everyone found out about me. Everyone found out about my secret. Maybe that's where the depression started. Or maybe I was just living with it for so long, I didn't realize I had it.
High school was when I really started writing because even though I had left behind everyone from my old schools, I still fought with people over my sexuality. It helped me cope with the fact I was one, if not the only, out gay kid in my high school. It was a lot to bear, and although I had a few more friends than before, I still found myself in a state of despair.
Writing with depression has helped me in ways though, it's helped me create realistic characters that want the best for many and not just themselves. One critic I can think of off the top of my head about my writing is the utopia I have created for gay characters within my writing. There's not a lot of hatred in my writing, although the world is full of evil people who choose to be evil to minorities. I can't find it to write characters or situations that are part of that world, I want to believe in a world where there's more good than bad.
Would I choose to be depressed to write my characters the same way? That would be an obvious no. I would rather be able to be a happy person who can stand not hating oneself for more than a day. Maybe one day I'll find my happy place, for now I will continue the course I'm on, trying to find that place.
Question Time: Do you have depression? If so, how do you cope with every day actions? Do you find your writing is impacted by your state of mind? I'd love to hear your feedback on this issue, whether it be negative or positive, even neutral.